Monday Musings For The Mind

Last week there was a new series being aired on National Geographic, which focused on the various schemes concocted by small and big time criminals around the world. The episode featured the city of Buenos Aires in Argentina and it brought to light a counterfeit money scam headed by a man dubbed 'The Artist.'

As the host managed to arrange a meeting with 'The Artist,' he was taken aback by the appearance of a man in his 60's, soft-spoken and looking rather laidback. The fascinating part was his love for what he did, and his abject refusal to change his ways. It was later revealed that after he did time in jail, his wife made him choose between his life of crime or their family. Bizarrely, he decided he could not let go of what he thought was an integral part of his life so his family left him. 'The Artist' held firm to his twisted principles and never looked back.

A couple of months ago I personally spoke to a certified practitioner of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), who shared his experience treating a patient who was struggling with a deep-rooted phobia. The patient developed a serious phobia of frogs, and blamed his brother as the main cause after he threw a live frog at him when they were little. After years of refusing to speak to his own kin, the NLP trainer felt he was gradually making progress which centered around convincing the patient to forgive his brother for the incident. Unfortunately as they were moving forward, the patient himself suddenly decided to stop treatment, claiming he wasn't ready to forgive his own flesh and blood.

This reveals a lot about how far we can go to try and change a person. It takes blood, sweat and tears to persuade that loved one to take a step in the right direction. You can move mountains, pave the way, and open the door to a new beginning. But when push comes to shove,  he or she must be the one to move their own feet, and ignite their own intention of wanting to walk through that door.

What National Geographic didn't reveal was how many times 'The Artist's' wife begged him to turn over a new leaf, while The NLP practitioner admitted he backed off after the patient felt he's had enough. It makes you wonder how far are we willing to go, to change a person we care deeply about. How much are we willing to sweat? How badly are we willing to bleed? Because sometimes it just seems we've done everything within our powers and we can absolve ourselves of any blame.

Because we did our best...

Or have we?       

When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

Erma Bombeck